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Saturday, May 11, 2013

"Everyone needs to just calm down and drink some water."

With everything going on in our lives right now, that's my new mantra. It is borrowed from my favorite first grade client, who included this statement in her closing prayer after family home evening.

Makes me pumped for kids.

...whiiiiich is a great segue on the hapennings of the Scurr town-household. We are having a BABY BOY this FALL!! I don't think there are words to explain how thrilled we are!

I journal about my pregnancy, but I am regretting not sharing more if it with family (who I'm pretty confident  are the only ones reading this, which is perfect)! Since I know for a fact I will not be writing "THE LABOR STORY" in any detail, mostly because I'd rather not relive the medical aspects, I'll include other parts. Like the conception story.

Just kidding.

I DO want to remember how I felt when we learned we were having a baby. If this is too personal, stop reading so your eyes don't burn out.

After trying for a little while, and having people make ridiculous comments ("Oh, do you not want kids?" "How old are you? Have you tried?" "Do you think you'll have kids soon? Or are you trying? Because if you are, I have a friend who knows things about fertility." "We are SO ready for you to have kids." "You shouldn't wait too long if you want babies. I was watching Dr. Oz at the gym, and he said...""I can't wait to get away from my kids, so don't have any soon." "When the heck are you guys going to have kids? Our kids need to be frieeeeends.") I started to get concerned/disappointed/irate. Like, irate as in irrationally irate. Actually, I would like to take this moment to pat myself on the back for demonstrating super human restraint and not decking anyone in the mouth. It came close. Maybe it's just me, but I found all (ALL) statements pertaining to my reproductive life semi-personal, and the LDS culture's impudence on such a delicate subject stirred up some annnnger.

Is it just Mormons?

Anyway, I know I was/am hyper sensitive to that. Still.

That being said, the constant reminders from clients/friends didn't ease any worries I was starting to have. We didn't try for years or anything, but with my mom's history of fertility issues + comments all day long, I was getting more uneasy.

 As far as I was concerned, pregnancy tests were more or less an 8-ball. Your future is determined in just one action, and regardless of how long I stared, that little stick was always firm on it's answer.

Then, one miraculous time, I decided it was time to get my routine "NO NO NO NO WAY NO" answer from the all-knowing First Response 8-stick, this time a couple days earlier than usual. I had a fun day planned the following day with some family that just came in town, and I figured that would be a good distraction to my inevitable disappointment. As with every other time, I tried to peel my eyes away from the stick for at least a minute. 20 seconds is usually about all I lasted, after distracting myself with some bathroom baseboard wiping. To my absolute shock, there was a little, tiny, miniscule, faint trace of a second line. The "YES" LINE! I was so absorbed in staring at it, I didn't blink. I couldn't breathe, either, because I couldn't chance making that line go away. My contacts started to get fuzzy. I couldn't blink because then they'd bend. (There was a lot of contact reasoning in my head for about 10 seconds.) I was trying to wave away that little, happy hopeful feeling floating up into my chest, because I thought I was seeing things. I stared for about another full minute before grabbing my phone and Google-ing "positive pregnancy test" images. After comparing, I realized it. Was. Real. I breathed again. And I stared. And I cried. And I laughed.

I ran to get Brian, who took his time coming into the room. I told him it was an emergency, and I felt his response time was inadequate for an emergency situation. When he came in, he looked at me with the test, and all he said was, "...do you think?" We looked at the developing second line on the test and laughed and (I) cried and laughed and (we) cried. Then we laughed again. We spent the rest of the night discussing all things baby and laughing some more.

Hindsight is always 20/20, but I do feel like having taken a little longer to get this baby will make me more appreciative of him than what I may have been. Otherwise, I would probably be a real whiner about pregnancy symptoms. How could I sincerely complain about getting to experience a miracle I'd prayed for?!

This may be too much information, but we are feeling SO beyond blessed and are so grateful and ecstatic to share our joy with family and friends!

PS- If any of this leads you to believe I'm going to be an unquestionably crazy mom, I would support you in that thought. I'm a little worried.