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Monday, March 28, 2011

Reader Discretion Advised. Particularly if you have photographed your child in a flower basket.

I originally hopped on my blog to declare a sassy pants little opinion of mine. Yet, I am hesitant. Why?


That last post about DeSean really got me good. Here I am preaching about confidence, and WHAM. A kick to the face. In the weeks following that post, I really got rocked to see if I had any confidence at all. I’ll get back to you in a month when I feel I am “numba one” like DeSean again.

But since karma already got me…wait, is it karma? Or is it jinxing myself? Either way, I already took the hit, so I’ll just go ahead and risk offending someone (hey, it’s my blog) and write my original thought. Which has to do with babies. In baskets.

Does anyone else out there think that combination is strange? You know what I’m talking about. Tutu clad newborns strategically placed in baskets and flower pots. Yes, how natural to rock your baby to sleep and lay it gently down in a terra cotta pot aside your favorite flowers on the window sill. Is this what people are trying to capture in these awkward photos? Or maybe these babies’ parents are planning on selling the pictures to the Third Grade Teacher Poster Association. Potted children look great next to the “Never give up!” kittens running on rainbows.

I don’t hate these photographers and their groundbreaking creativity with buckets-o-babies, and some babies are cute no matter what item they just happen to be sleeping in/on. I just find it an interesting trend. The real problem is some of the maternity pictures I have had the severe misfortune of laying my eyes upon. The mother to be can probably get away with blaming on a hormone imbalance, but there is no excuse for those photographers. It’s just embarrassing. I wish I could post my favorite, particularly strange picture, but it’s from a friend of a friends blog. You know how that is. Come over, I’ll show it to you. Until then, check out this great website. The Mother of all awkward pregnancy photos.

This? It's not cute. It's weird. My future babies will be subjected to other types of sparkly, foo-foo, borderline tacky pictures to humiliate them in their later years, but they will not. Be. Potted.


Camille said...

Haha you are hilarious! I agree... weird combination. It's like Anne Geddes was cute for like 2 seconds, and then the babies got surrounded by more and more flowers. Also, I'm glad you like Awkward Family Photos... that blog cracks me up. People are funny. End of story.

C&C said...

You're so funny. You got me wondering if I have ever done this...I don't think I have, right? Well I guess I did put her in a little pumpkin suit for the pumpkin patch when she was teeny...
those pictures you linked up to were hilarious! I appreciate your strong opinions. Some people's baby's kill me.

Matt and Amanda Ekman said...

Oh my goodness those awkward pregnancy photos are hilarious! I can't believe people are that weird haha

Marcella said...

Loved this post! You make me laugh so hard. Photos were awesome. I miss you!

Natalie said...

Ashton. I am reading this in class, and I am crying because I can't laugh outloud so I had to hold it in and started crying. I sent the link to all of my friends in class. Now they are almost crying. The best part was your comparison to the kitties on rainbows.

But remember how we photographed ourselves next to trees, and in front of tacky pink silky blankets, and then had the guts to photograph ourselves eating pudding? Karma has already hit us.

Megan said...

Karma/sharma..I love you..and your words of wisdom.

Jessica and Ryan Toolson said...

PLEASE keep your posts coming! I love your blog and it never fails to leave me laughing! i love you!