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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Call me Oprah...

As a joyous result of having TiVo introduced into my life, I watched the "Oprah's Favorite Things" episode(s) for the very first time this year.

(This space intended for the moment of silence those episodes deserved.)

After seeing only the previews of the show, which portray grown men squealing at such a high pitches, the sound bite was apparently edited out. Brian was a little dubious. We were both a little skeptical of Oprah doing something so life altering and unimaginable that people were dropping to the floor and possible speaking in tongues. Before Brian saw the episode, he asked, "Is it really THAT great?"

Yes, we found out. It IS really that great.

I can only imagine that the privelage being on that hallowed episode would feel a lot like walking into Marshall's or Ross and spotting THE designer bag. You know, the one you have been lusting after for years (in my case Marc Jacob's Stam in black or Louis Vuitton's Speedy 25 in azure damier). Ohh yes. I would run up to it in slow motion and snatch it, and the only thing that would come to my mind would be, "SFJKLBYTLQBCFAJKLHDFFDJAKUIWERUYQPWEORE" and everything would be a blur as I ran to the register. Then, the whole store would turn into chocolate, and I'd be so gloriously happy with my good fortune that I'd sashe out, tossing handfuls of glittery happiness out of my new Stam/Speedy like a crazed flower girl in a Ke$ha music video.

Yes, I imagine being on Oprah's episode would feel a lot like that.

And, after watching "Oprah's Fav Things", Brian understood, too.

Since no one I know was on that show (that I know of,anyway...although if they did, they may still be speechless,understandably), I have devised a list of Ashton's Favorite Things. You are welcome. Now you, my blog friends, know what I would have given you for Christmas had I been employed.

The incomplete list of Ashton's Favorite Things, in no particular order:

1. OPI polish in "You Don't Know Jacques!"
2. Grocery gift card. Then you can avoid wasting money on boring necessities like flour.LAME.
3. Dior's Skinflash spray foundation
4. A year's supply of Fiji water.
I once won this, and it's lasted me 2 years! Woo!
5. Satin sheets & bedding
6. Moroccan Oil
7. Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer
8. GoodWood's Sweet and Sassy BBQ Sauce
9. Race registration.
Whether it's a 5k, 10k, half or full marathon, you'll feel so accomplished when you finish!
10. Forever21 Jeans. Ok, I only have one pair...but SO cheap and SO comfy!
11. A guy who thinks you are still pretty when you can't afford any of these things anymore.

That Oprah. You'll have to let me know your favorite things so I will know what great items to seek out when Oprah isn't there to guide the entire American public next season!


ashley mikell said...

love this! i will be working on my list in response. oh and i miss you.

Morgan said...

1,3,6,7,11 would all be on my list too :)

Kimmy Morley said...

Ashton you're too funny! I would love a monthly Ashton favorite things post.

Megan Bleazard said...

This is SO funny! I am sad I missed this years favorite things episode! I watch it almost every year. So I do agree to some of your fav things. I do agree OPI nail polish is the shiz and I have Do You Know Jacques on my nails right now! It is a must! LOL
Also I have been wanting to try Dior's Skinflash foundation! I must try it!

the hawker's said... i am obsessed with oprah's favorite things! since the show i have been using products that i love {and dreaming of others i want} and then i will try to sell it to blake. it always starts something like this "blake, if i had an alex's favorite things show this would make the cut..."

with what started out like a great idea has become a bit of an annoyance to him, i think.

The Facers said...

Oprah it is! You're too funny!