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Sunday, June 7, 2009

Aqua Net Hairspray? Rubber Cement?

Is a wedding truly so imperative to my life that it could trump even the actual MARRIAGE? At 66 days until my wedding, I have a dress, a temple date, and...a groom. And that's all! But really, that's all I care about. I've decided to downsize a LOT from what I originally planned, so I'm not too concerned.

In other news of my life, I went to church today and didn't pay attention at all. That was due in part to the fact that I ate a leftover cheeseburger right before I realized I was supposed to be fasting and then felt bad, and partly because I sat behind this girl with the most ornately disheveled up-do I have ever seen.

Yet so intriguing.

If Amy Winehouse was LDS, this would be her.

I couldn't stop staring. If I'd had to snap out of her horrific hair-induced trance and peeled my eyes away, my eyeballs probably would have sounded like nails on a chalkboard. My contacts would have fallen out.

So I had to keep staring. I don't even know this girl, and she'll never read my blog, but let me say this more tactfully. It's not that I hated her hair. No, let me rephrase that. It's not that I completely hated her hair. It's just that I was looking for a small animal hidden in it. Was it a gerbil? A small guinea pig? No... her unassuming pet hamster MUST have gotten stuck up there while roaming around on a Sunday morning stroll INSIDE it's hamster ball, because that is the only way this coif could possibly be maintained in such form.

Thank you, anonymous girl, for helping me get through Fast Sunday without thinking once about the cheeseburger I already ate. Good luck to you and your hamster. And maybe next week I can secretly touch your hair to see what it feels like.


leila said...

Ashton, you are so cute. don't accidently get this girl's stylist for your wedding quaff!! We are dying to see some engagement photos, any chance they might get posted?
By the way,J&K + 8, it's a train wreck!! And like any bloody accident scene we slow down to get a good look. They have sold their family for 30 pieces of silver. Leila

Jayci said...

you are hilarious. I never knew you were so FUNNY when we were in High School together, dang it. :P So did you eat the cheeseburger for breakfast or do you have late church? Sounds yummy... I think I may have a cheeseburger today now. AH! not what I need.

The Facers said...

Yes! Don't you love those little bad "episodes" I call them! Kip totally gives me a hard time but it really is hard to pry your eyes form interesting hair forms like those! I can totally picture me doing the EXACT same thing! Tragic, but awesome!

michael. mindy. dane. said...

You are so hilarious. I was the same way planning my wedding. Those were the only things I cared about. I told my mom what I wanted and she planned it. It made my life easier. I'm so excited for you to get married!

the hawker's said...

i'm pretty sure i know a couple of people that may be hauling around their pet hampsters in their hair too, though i had never thought about it that way before! haha funny post.

p.s. i ate half a blueberry bagel this fast sunday before i realized it was fast sunday. on my way to church. the other half waited for me in the car until church was over and i could throw it away without getting caught by my ward members. remembering what i had done when i saw that other half brought on a double wave of guilt. better luck next time, right?

p.p.s. good luck planning your wedding.

ok. that was the end. i am done now.

Unknown said...

Oh sweetie! The woes of wedding planning. That's the reason most people get a planner. With my experience, make the day about YOU and your honey. Trying to make everyone happy will result in you not being happy. Good luck! :)

P.S. Why didn't you take a picture of the hair? That's what camera phones were invented for!! :)