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Saturday, January 10, 2009

A Day in the Life of a Single Girl.

In appreciation of the half dozen or so Winter marriages I have been attending over the past few weeks, I wanted to write a little something-something to remind my coupled counterparts about the joys of being single (as suggested by my mom).

Now, don’t get me wrong…I have no problem being single. No bitterness. No animosity towards the aforementioned couples (who make up the large majority of my friends). Just, you know…a way for my friends to reminisce. Let’s start in the morning.

The AM

I wake up to my alarm clock, which is that sort of pretty/ sort of oddly hypnotizing twinkly sound generic to Verizon phones. No husband, but I wake up with other things in my bed, including (but not limited to): pens, books, purses, laundry, friends’ clothes, and occasionally shoes. You may wonder how I don’t notice shoes in my bed; Ugg boots feel deceivingly akin to pillows when it’s dark. They have the tendency to remain camouflaged for days on end.

Then I get up and eat whatever I want. Since I have no other mouths dependent on my cooking (or reheating), I eat anything that I have…which varies from grocery trip to grocery trip, and the long stretch in between. Sometimes I have eggs, or toast. Other times, I eat cookies. Or leftovers. Or a little bit of all of the above.

Then I put on shoes that are probably impractical (but hey, heels double as ice picks in Provo), get used to the new altitude, and step out to conquer the world…or at least get some real groceries.Occasionally, on the way to the grocery story, I get sidetracked. A sale! Costco samples! A nail salon! And you know what I do? I go there instead of the grocery store. Because I can. Because I can spend money on something so stupid, so irresponsible and then go on an involuntary fast til I can get groceries. Because no on depends on me. And, most importantly, because my shoes will be so much better appreciated by my nail polishing cohorts than at the grocery store.

And I feel okay about this, because even though I spent grocery money on a zebra-print ring, I occasionally can rely on a boy for dinner.

The Swanky Evening in Provo

I finish my errands, do homework, go to school, go to the gym, eat, the occasional date (set up by friends’ friends/roommates/brothers/in laws/cousins/mission companion etc). Then I plan on going to sleep, but friends come over or I’ll go to a friend’s. I show them my new manicure/flashy piece of turned-my-finger-green-but-i-love-it jewelry from the day, and then we stay up talking about whatever (probably life goals, financial investments, things like that), and I go to bed way later than planned.

I stumble in, take off my shoes, and adjust to my drastically shortened height. I take out my contacts and blindly feel the way to my bed. I climb into my beloved satin sheets, snuggle up to a pillow that I will later discover is a stowaway Ugg, and consider going to a concert, sleeping at a friend’s in Salt Lake, or snowboarding the next day. Or maybe I’ll just hop on the freeway and take some friends home with me.

Even in their absence, (I’ve heard) boys are great. Congratulations to my newlywed friends and those that are getting married soon! I couldn’t be happier for you.

14 comments:

Team Carter said...

hey lady!
you're hilarious. i love being married but i will admit that i do miss being able to spend money on whatever random trash that i want! oh, and speaking of you being set up with people, the guys i was telling you and nat about actually live in belmont, not arlington. but they're still cute. and in your stake. do as you wish with that info.

Petersen's said...

that was cute! you should be a writer!!!

The Proctors said...

Hahaha, that is hilarious. Good luck tomorrow!

Michael & Mindy said...

You're hilarious. I love being married, but I agree with Team Carter...it was fun to spend money on whatever I wanted! I wish I had someone good to set you up wiht, but I don't. haha, you crack me up!

Matt and Tanya Wonderly said...

Oh Ashton, how I love ya! Enjoy while you can cause there is no cuddling with the Ugg boot when you are married! Jk

Morgan and Stuart said...

That was the most fun thing that I've read on a blog in a long time!

Linda Bandley said...

I love it. Are you coming back to Vegas when you are done with school?

Alexandria said...

My life in a nutshell...

And I LOVE it!

So cute and SO true! I love it!!

p.s. when are you coming back to idaho??? you can't tell me that you don't just LOVE the antarctic weather we're experiencing up here. haha

Angelica said...

I just stumbled across your blog through a friend's blog. I loved your post! You pin pointed exactly how I feel! Now I'm no longer going to feel guilty when I choose the manicure or pair of shoes over the grocerry trip. Thanks!

The Facers said...

Loved that! Nicole is right, you should be a writer!

The Facers said...

By the way I just noticed on your blog list you have me as Mel De....love it!

huggin said...

Ashton! That was hilarious! I very much loved and appreciated that

Kyle Stucki said...

So this is how a single girl thinks huh? This is great slash entertaining... I'm glad I found it!

bayardo4life said...

hey ashton!! glad to see you're having fun in utah...must say, i'm pretty amazed you're wearing heals in northern utah during winter...that takes guts!