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Sunday, November 23, 2008

My Name is NOT Ashley...

...but I still respond to it. I love the beach, but I'm scared of the ocean. I despise fantasy, but I love the Twilight series. I am cluttered and messy, but super clean (if you can find the floor underneath that pile of clothes, it's vacuumed and the baseboards are dusted). Ohh the paradoxes of life. I've realized just hot prevalent they are in my life as of recent.

I've been looking forward to graduating college for YEARS! Now that it's approaching faster than Max Hall's passes can be intercepted, I'm reevaluating my thought process. Bad things about growing up:

1. They stop making everything sparkly (bedspreads, toothbrushes, etc). I may forever be tacky, but my favorite gaudy items are annoyingly inconvenient to find.


Thank you Etsy.com for helping me continue living the sparkly tackiness that is my youth.
2. Santa...well, you know.
3. Ridiculous expenses. Who wants to spend money on light bulbs and paper towels?
4. For reasons beyond my understanding, it's socially unacceptable to send a boy a "check yes or no" note. I still think it would be much more time efficient, easier, and altogether useful. The cootie shot, maybe less so.
5. Jelly shoes got replaced with other fashionably hideous shoes that make your feet smell, like Uggs.
6. You stop growing UP and you start growing OUT.
7. People expect you to be responsible. This outlandish assumption is comparable only to the coming-of-age ritual in which one gets their driver's license at a specific age. Do you think someone should be allowed to drive just because they're 16? Ha. No way. Do you think someone should have to be responsible just because they graduated? Exactly.
8. Spilled lunch leftovers on your clothes aren't as cute anymore, even though there is still a whopping 47%* chance it will happen to you.
*Raises drastically to 93% when wearing white.
Anyway, about graduating...I'm scared to death! I start the beginning of the end in January, when I will be student teaching at Mountain View High School in Orem!! I'm not sure what grade yet, but hopefully I will hear soon. I'm so excited, but so nervous! Wasn't I just in high school? And do I really want to graduate? Maybe I'll take some art, canoeing, and Latin dance classes to postpone graduation/life in general.
I've always wanted to grow up, but who knew it would come so fast?! Hmm (come to think of it, all signs are pointing to some psychological reasoning behind my recent "tutu" birthday party)...

9 comments:

Jayci said...

this post made me laugh. :) Graduation IS coming fast for you, holy cow. But you will be such a cute high school teacher, just like Nicole. so fun!! sorry about the not so easy to find sparkly things.

The Proctors said...

I am so happy that you got your assignment! I am still waiting for mine, but will let you know...

Kasie said...

Yay for Mountain View! You will be sooo awesome! I don't want to grow up either . . . maybe we should rebel!

Michael & Mindy said...

You crack me up! Congrats on Mt. View, that will be fun! I'm pretty sure Melissa (don't know her last name. Patten maybe?) is there, too. PS I think you're an awesome writer. I hope you're teaching sophomores and not seniors, even then those boys are going to love you! Well, the girls too, but they'll probably just be jealous of you. Anyway...I dont' know why I'm rambling about weird stuff...

Amy said...

hey girly! what are you getting your degree in? oh and you should look at my lia sophia jewelry, there are plenty of "adult sparkles" you would quite enjoy! :)

Cody and Britt said...

you are too cute and this post was high-larious! (and oh so true!)

JordanGuy said...

You are learning life lessons in droves. It seems like you are drinking out of a fire hydrant instead of a hose, take it easy, clear your heart, cut the chord. I love your reasoning.

Morgan and Stuart said...

You're just my favorite :)

Joeley said...

girl- you straight crack me up! i am with you on the jelly's and notes to boys check yes or no! i'm keepin it young forever with you girl.
let's shoe shop soon:)